Definitely march wasn't my month, and now April.. the old shit..... my mom still doesn't call me, i leave messages all the time and I'm looking like crazy if my sis is on in msn so i can talk to them, but they don't want to talk to me, they know i want something..
yesterday night was horrible, i couldn't fall asleep til like very late, it sucks i was thinking in everything,,, everything, about my career as soon as i get in Mexico, what am i gonna do? i definitely don't wanna stay at home, i hate that house, the yelling, everything, the fact that i have to share my room, just all that same old shit, my mom so annoying, eventhought i miss her now i know i will want to get rid of her within to weeks after i arrive in summer.. no more of two weeks and I'm gonna be sick of her.. i bet! and the major thing, my house i just hated I'm ashamed of it i swear and it is juts too far away that nobodies is able to give me a ride or pick me u when we are going out like the other girls do.. i HATE IT! i never invite ppl over to my house, i don't like it, nor to their houses that are big with big yards and lots of bathrooms not only one, and also they don't sleep in the same room as their moms during summer to save money on the electricity bill... and yes I'm 18.. going to be 19 in October, my sis is 15 and we still sleep in the same room with my mom during the night.. i want a room for my own, just like this one here in Seattle, i didnt know how was it to have a room for myself til i got here to Washington, and i love it, i know that the clothes dont appear magically in my drawers washed and clean, but although i have to do it all i still prefer this room, although it is small i love it, i have everything what i need in the spot i know, no one messes around my stuff or takes the same thing as i do, nobody enters to my room so early in the morning to use a comb or make up or look at the selves in my mirror, i have a quiet room, no more noise than angels crying sometimes.. but doesn't bothers me at all, no buses, no noisy men selling water or bread, no tacky people hollering at each other or nasty narcos songs in big trucks every morning since 7 am...here theres always a place to park, and fresh air cus we are in the woods. i will miss all of this so much, and i actually like to do my laundry an all that stuff, i know were is everything cuz nobody takes it or ever goes in my room besides angel and sometimes the nana to say goodnight,i have my own desk to put my lap which im using right now, a closet with all my stuff in order and nobody uses it besides me (sister), i like to keep everything in order and i do my laundry once a week. all together.
i don't make my bed a lot as i used to do it before, like at the very beginning almost everyday, but still, nobody cares if i do it or no.. nobody sees..
Oklahoma...
today i talked to jarred on the phone, he called me while i was sleeping, asking me again when i was going over to his house in OKC... i told him soon... but that soon just doesn't come.. i have been here for more than 7 months and i haven't kissed anyone, haha im ashamed of myself, the year that i thought would be wild and crazy with a lot of boost and making out with hot guys.... yeah sure... i dont know what i have to do.. but i don't wanna go back to Mex without kissing anybody... that's why i want jordan.. but now im getting so damn FAT and all is my parents fault i already lost my motivation to dieting... it was OKC AND JORDAN.. but now since they doesnt give me a yes as answer and i havent buy my plane ticket, and sincerely everyday i see the oklahoma thing going further away... im so damn sad this past month and also this one have been lame i dont ever go out AT ALL.. only with amy which doesnt go out a lot.. and by going out i mean going to bel square or something like that...today is the eventh i have 5 dollars in my wallet til he twenties of this month.. i don know if ayya deposited me the money she told me for the 'contacts'' but i doubt it since she doesn have my account number a she might have forgotten and didnt ask my mom for it.. i want to go shopping so badly...but i also need money for OKC... i just need money thats all i need... the damn babysitting job was all bullshit .....
anyway im begin so negative and so far that all what i have been doing... complaining about everything and telling how my life sucks this days... but actually today was a pretty good day at school... there were 2 new guys from michoacan mex. i felt kind of sorry for them cuz they dont know any english and they seem pretty lost, anyway i helped them and in my computer applications class which i like the most... mrs harris told me that i was becoming a tutor, and placed adriana the girl from michoacan right next to me and in the otehr side as alwasy my betsie waiyen which i help all the time.. i like him alot hes very nice i think hes my bets friend everything he is naco and emo, i like him a lot we have a really good time and he is so funny and cares about me, i like begin able to help them i mean like the girl she donest know anything at all... poor she but lucky she that im there cuz i like to help i know how it feels, and eventhough shes naca is not her fault, i like begin good, makes me feel nice to help the ppl who need it, at least she didnt spend her first day that lost at all.. i will help her all i can..
well that was my god day at school, and i also liked that Narayana Gragmena the prettiest girl on school told me she liked my outfit my earing and everything on me hahaha, shes the girl who dressses the best in RHS so that was an accomplishment i love all her outfits and theres no day i dont like one thing she wearing.. and also she is very pretty, but they say shes lesbian, lame i know but im not sure, what a waste if she is hahaha and shes from Italia, i want to become friend with her.. but i thingk is too late.. im not sure..
what else? i dont know, i guess ill talk to you later.. i like this thing its kind of my diary i would never let anybody know i have this or maybe i would like ppl that i dont know to see this but thats all.. see ya
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment